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HEAVENLY HUMOR As understood by Earthlings
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CREATION
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IN THE BEGINNING
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
God’s inerrant word opens with God’s inerrant creation.
Moses sucked in his breath, his mind and body conflicted with fear and joy. He carefully parted the four layers of the curtain into the Tent of the Tabernacle. The light seemed brighter than usual.
“Welcome, my man,” God said. “I have someone I would like you to meet.”
Moses bowed, and then surveyed the strangely draped guest. His hair was white as his own, but he only had the top part of a beard under his nose. The glimmer in his eyes and smile said he was a friend. “Welcome. My name is Moses.”
“I am Albert Einstein.” The man extended his hand.
Moses looked in Einstein’s hand, but it held nothing.
God explained, “His hand is for you to grip and shake as a bond of friendship.”
Moses nodded and squeezed his hand. “Where are you from?”
“I was born in Germany but am now a citizen of the United States. We are fellow Jews.”
“I am a Hebrew. What’s a Jew?”
God smiled and said, “Moses, you have been a tireless and faithful worker for me and our people. I thought it well to share insights into your future. Albert is from a distant time and place. Oh, and your Hebrews also acquire the name for Jacob’s son Judah.”
Einstein wandered past the table of shewbread, paused at the altar, and stopped to touch the golden menorah. “Thirty-five dollars an ounce.”
God parted the veil to reveal the Ark of the Covenant. Einstein quickly approached with finger extended, and God warned, “Do not touch.”
Moses pleaded, “Please, don’t touch.”
God pointed to carefully stacked rolls of parchments. “You have been accumulating your people’s history, some from passed-on memories and visions, others recorded as you traveled. It is as it is with your people’s triumphs and failures… and my corrective actions. It will become my word for future guidance to millions.”
“But it is not accurate in places,” Einstein said.
God smiled. “It’s a matter of understanding and interpretation. That is why the three of us are gathered in my tent. Moses better grasps the spiritual and you better understand the physical.”
Einstein pointed at the parchment scrolls and said, “I’ve read the Torah and never got excited. It’s stupid to believe creation took only six days.”
“What do you mean, Torah? And God did create everything in six days.”
“I would suggest ‘ignorance’ as a better descriptive choice than ‘stupid,’” God said. He pointed toward Einstein’s pocket.
“The prism?” He held out the triangle of crystal.
God said, “Let there be light,” and a beam of white hit the glass and spread into every brilliant color on the Tabernacle wall.
Moses jumped and shouted, “A rainbow! The sign of your covenant.”
Einstein explained, “This is a little different. You can only see a rainbow through rain droplets at 42 degrees from the direction opposite the light source.”
“What’s a degree?”
“Uh, it’s how we measure a circle.”
“Moses,” God said, “No one on earth today, or for thousands of years will begin to comprehend my creation. I use a time period you can understand of the sun rising and setting on an earth that looks flat to you. At night only part of the stars is revealed. To me a day is as a thousand years or a lot longer… or yesterday. You and my future Prophets will receive directions and visions in symbols you can understand. When you know how a rock dropping to earth is related to time more of my creation will make sense.”
“Gravity affects the push and pull of space and time,” Einstein said. He took a notepad from his jacket and began writing with a ballpoint pen:
“What language is that?” Moses took the ballpoint pen and rubbed his thumb along the smooth red surface. He grinned as he began clicking the little button on the end. Click! Click! Click!
God gave a little laugh of joy at Moses tuning into the future. “In reaction to quantum mechanics and molecular activity man is still trying to measure, Albert has noted that I did not play dice with the universe. He is beginning to understand the inerrancy of my creation.”
“Exactly.”
Moses clutched the pen and then pointed it at the formula, his face a question.
“These are numbers and letters representing the curvature of space-time. We are just now, uh, in my day, beginning to comprehend the expanding universe, black holes, and ripples in space-time. And dark matter and dark energy.” Einstein looked carefully at God and whispered, “Dark matter. Some think that is where you live, where we will find your heaven.”
God hinted a smile and then became expressionless. “Whether I created the earth in six days or from a Big Bang billions of years ago, I was here before that event. And so was the previous existence… which is still here… and will always be.”
Einstein wrinkled his moustache. “I think what he is saying is that he operates within the limitations of his own creation and that of… one might say, dark matter and energy. OK, heaven.”
Moses frowned. “What about miracles?”
“God knows how things work together. My formula only describes a tiny part of the tools he has available to support those he loves.”
God carefully eyed the two men. “You are looking to a bright tomorrow. There is still a distant future where we can spend time together. Both of you will meet again.”
Moses and Einstein smiled at each other and shook hands again.
Einstein spread his arms and said, “Look about at creation surrounding you with fresh eyes. That mountain side with the diagonal layers of different colored rock is God’s art of time. It may contain the bones of dinosaurs or other wonderful creatures of yesteryear. If you could only look close at drops of water from a pond you might see surprising creatures wiggling about. See the design in the center of a sunflower. The crystalline structure of a gem. Hear the buzz of a hummingbird.” He paused. “Do you have hummingbirds in Israel?”
“Israel?”
“That is the name of our promised land in my day. Where you are now headed. Now or then we can smell the fragrant flowers with thoughts of God’s creation. Oh, and waft the scent from the sap of the myrrh.”
God nodded approval. “Enjoy your own time and place where we can love each other. And love your neighbor as yourself. Share my love with others.”
The tinge of fear disappeared from Moses, releasing more joy. He turned to Einstein with affection and said, “Yes, but our God did create the heavens and the earth in six days. You must take that message back to your distant time and place.”
“That message is already there. But God created the visible universe many days earlier. With life he tapped their chromosomes so offspring could better live in a changing world. With Adam he began to fellowship with his creation. Now he is working on taming the human spirit. That’s a little trickier because he allows free will.”
“Chromosomes? You use strange words and have disrespectful thoughts.”
God looked carefully at both of his men. “Diverse interpretations of my word will plague and divide my followers until the end. Divine the simple underlying message.”
Moses viewed God with squinted eyes. “This Albert Einstein does not exist and never will. You have created him to test my faith.”
Einstein shook his head and exclaimed, “May I wake up from this dream with my doubt restored.”
God shrugged. “Lean not unto your own understanding. Trust me.”
Click! Click! Click! [1] Einstein’s original formula for space-time warp related to gravity. Confirmed in several ways, including noting increased time difference between atomic clocks at sea level and with less gravity on a high mountain top. Our measurement of time is a man-made convention, and so are 360 degrees in a circle. |